Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before ~ Edgar Allan Poe
There seems to be a disproportionate amount of life lessons and knowledge to be found and examined at my 6am spin class. I’m not sure if that’s because the coaches are fonts of veritable wisdom, or because my sponge-like mind is incredibly impressionable at that early hour with little else to ponder, or a convoluted combination of both. Don’t get me wrong, the coaches spew out plenty of words of encouragement, wisdom and thought provoking statements, all between deep breaths and specific instructions to increase the gear, increase the cadence, or worst case scenario, both. But I also find when I’m not quite awake to mull over the day ahead, dissect the day before, or sink back into my rabbit hole of life altering, mind bending epiphanies, there is plenty of space in my head to hear, absorb and over think the words thrown at me.
A few weeks ago, in true old school, throwback fashion, we gutted it out to ‘Eye of the Tiger’. It’s easily my favourite, and always my go to, “power song”. When I just need that extra little push. It was always at the end of my running playlist, or near the middle depending on the length of my run, and gave me that extra energy, motivation, to clear the finish line, or at least keep heading in that direction.
On this particular morning I found myself stuck on the line, “don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past, you must fight just to keep them alive.”
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They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself ~ Andy Warhol
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Several years ago I experienced my first in a string of heart breaks. In my desire for, and whole-hearted belief in, love, I chose to ignore red flags, niggling feelings of anxiety, and blatant disparities in lifestyle and future pathways. Although hindsight being what it is, I can now see that it was a ripple effect. In 2015, I sustained loss, and experienced several significant changes in and to my life, all culminating in some serious heartbreak and grief. However, having been born in England, and raised in a British family, my prevailing thought pattern was simply, “keep calm and carry on.” And carry on I did, straight into another heartbreak, and another. I thought I had given myself enough time, but the losses, the grief, and the hurt just continued to pile on top of each other. Until I broke.
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Time on its own did not heal my wounds. Time gave me distance and perspective and a change in my interpretation of what had occurred. It allowed me to see the upsides, to evaluate my choices and decisions and allowed the wound to scab over. But it didn’t heal and it didn’t force me to chew on, digest, and absorb all of the lessons that I needed to learn, incorporate and change. It simply passed by, with each day the memory of the hurt and fear fading, but never truly healed.
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It has been said that time heals all wounds. I don't agree. The wounds remain. Time - the mind, protecting its sanity - covers them with some scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone ~ Rose Kennedy
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Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope ~ Maya Angelou
I recently started asking people about their most awesome love moments, memories and stories. I'm always amazed at the honest and candid responses people give, often with a whimsical smile and a faraway look in their eyes. This is another one if those stories. A story of a chance encounter that changed two lives forever.
We were sitting on a boat in Mexico, speeding across the ocean, on our way to what was promised to be some of the best snorkeling around. Corey, from Canada, was our guide, cracking jokes and throwing out random Canadiana, such as the infamous “eh,”as a way to pass the time. Approaching our destination, we started to slow, and cruised past a white sand beach full of people and tiki hut-style beach bars. At that moment, Corey got a wistful look in his eyes, he turned to us and said, “I met the love of my life on that beach twenty years ago, I was only 18.” Corey told us the story. He was an 18 year old super white, gangly, Canadian prairie kid who came to Mexico on vacation with his parents. The beach is a popular tourist destination, only reachable by boat, or by jungle hike, as we had done several days before. He recounted the day he stepped off the boat and onto the beach, he recalled it as if it were yesterday. The first girl he saw, a gorgeous, tanned skin, young lady with her parents, took his breath away. He approached her and quickly realized she was Mexican, visiting from another part of the country, and did not speak any English. Armed with an English to Spanish dictionary he had purchased that day from the Holiday Inn gift shop, he asked her if she would like to go for a walk with him, one word at a time.
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One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes... and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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Life is all about choices, decisions, turning one way or the other, or continuing on the path forward. Even a non-action or non-response is a decision.
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Although we are not in control of how our message is received by others, we can choose our words and our actions grounded in the best of intentions and in a way that ensures we remain in our integrity. That too is a decision.
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It is always a decision.
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Choose, decide, intend to speak and act from a place of integrity, ensuring your choices reflect who you are, what you believe, and the values you hold close. Above all else, choose to do it all from a place of kindness 💚
