Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before ~ Edgar Allan Poe
There seems to be a disproportionate amount of life lessons and knowledge to be found and examined at my 6am spin class. I’m not sure if that’s because the coaches are fonts of veritable wisdom, or because my sponge-like mind is incredibly impressionable at that early hour with little else to ponder, or a convoluted combination of both. Don’t get me wrong, the coaches spew out plenty of words of encouragement, wisdom and thought provoking statements, all between deep breaths and specific instructions to increase the gear, increase the cadence, or worst case scenario, both. But I also find when I’m not quite awake to mull over the day ahead, dissect the day before, or sink back into my rabbit hole of life altering, mind bending epiphanies, there is plenty of space in my head to hear, absorb and over think the words thrown at me.
A few weeks ago, in true old school, throwback fashion, we gutted it out to ‘Eye of the Tiger’. It’s easily my favourite, and always my go to, “power song”. When I just need that extra little push. It was always at the end of my running playlist, or near the middle depending on the length of my run, and gave me that extra energy, motivation, to clear the finish line, or at least keep heading in that direction.
On this particular morning I found myself stuck on the line, “don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past, you must fight just to keep them alive.”
It has been far too easy to slip into life, jobs, payments, all encouraging The Fear, and to forget that there once was a dream of doing something different or being someone different or being somewhere different. Being so entrenched in where I am now, I have forgotten the starry eyed, day dreamer who contemplated many other potential and possible existences. Now with a perception of so much more to lose, fear and doubt have taken a grip of those dreams and hid them away. The grip is so tight, the hiding place so well disguised, that at times, I forget what those dreams even look like, and even worse, if they are still relevant to me today.
The interesting thing is that I love my life. I have been extremely fortunate and so very grateful. I have been presented with, and taken, many opportunities to explore, change and challenge myself. In doing so, I have ended up somewhere completely different than I set out for, had I followed and stuck to the plan. My dreams of the past are no longer relevant to the life I have now. I feel that my dreams have become more simple, more basic, yet still requiring a leap of faith to leave my current, safe, comfort zone.
I find myself continuing to dream and trying to find ways to make those dreams a reality. One day I will speak them out loud, for accountability, to thumb my nose at The Fear. The Fear can and will stick around, but it’s only choice is to come along for the spin
So many times, it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive
Survivor – Eye of the Tiger