The Commute: Most Vexing Characters

If you’ve read my “About” page then you know I live in Vancouver, well North Vancouver to be precise, and I work in Kits.  For those of you unfamiliar with Vancouver, that’s not 1 but 2 bridges.  Yes, I commute, to work, alone, in my car.  Before there’s a protest, I drive a Yaris. That is literally one step up from a Smart Car or “Car2go”, barely. I’ve often thought about taking public transit, but truth be told, I like the freedom of driving and if I’m going to be stuck in traffic I want to be stuck in my own air conditioned vehicle singing loudly (mostly off key) to my own musical stylings.

With all this driving, I’ve been introduced to the following cast of characters, you might know them too.  These are the top 5 that often make me stop singing and shake my head:

5.  Tommy the Tailgater – It’s traffic.  Driving on my tail and pressuring me to go faster is not going to work because I CAN’T go any faster. We are in bumper to bumper traffic…where would you like me to go?

4. Cut-In Carla – we all know that lane ends, we all know it goes into Stanley Park and you want to go over the Lion’s Gate Bridge, we all got in line ages ago…you’re not new here.  I’m convinced that Cut-In Carla is the reason we have so many Tommy the Tailgaters.

3.  No Signal Nelly – this one is a definite head shaker.  I just bought a new car in September, so I know that indicators (turn signals if you must) are still standard in all vehicles.  That lever has a purpose.  I wish I could read minds, that would be a cool superpower (although it might get a bit noisy – there is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode about this), but I can’t so you need to tell me where you’re planning on going.  And it doesn’t count if you roll up to the light and then, as an afterthought, throw on your left turn signal…seriously!?  It’s like waiting in a long lineup at Starbucks and when you get to the counter you still don’t know what you want (that’s a different list).

The next two are the worst and they may be influenced by my chosen profession…

2. Sammy Speedster – why is it that I, myself, am doing 20 km/hr FASTER than the posted speed limit on the Upper Levels Highway and it feels like I’m standing still? Where are you going in such a hurry? Is it possible to leave 10 minutes earlier? The best part is when you pull off at your exit and I’m 30 seconds behind you, were those 30 seconds worth putting us all at risk?

1.Dexter the Texter – I know, I know, this is all anyone in law enforcement can talk about these days, it is the new Drinking and Driving, but really. How can you possibly tailgate, cut in and speed all while texting? No wonder you can’t put your signal on.  And I know you’re texting, your head is down and the light is GREEN!

An honourable mention to Bob Weaver (like what I did there?) This is the guy who changes lanes 18 times to end up 2 cars in front of you.

I know you have your own cast of characters…who causes you to stop singing and shake your head?